Can you see where this post is going?
She won't let anyone help her do anything. Ever. It is maddening. And has caused serious meltdowns. The best (worst) example I can give was taking her home from gymnastics one day. She wouldn't put her shoes on so we could go home, and she would not let me help her. I indulged it for a while, but pretty soon we were the only ones from her class there, and I was impatient. Ultimately I scooped up my child, took her shoes, and carried her to the car. Then came the meltdown to end all meltdowns...
At first she tried running through the parking lot back to the gym, to start over. She was flailing around so much I couldn't get her into the car seat - I was afraid I would hurt her, and 40 minutes later we were still in the parking lot. At one point I just put her on the car floor, shut the door, and hung out outside until she calmed down. She cried and cried and cried. Finally got her in the car seat, and as we were driving home - all she could say through her tears was "I wanted to put my shoes on myself".
She also refused to get dressed one day, and I had to get to work. It was actually snowing outside (doesn't happen here too much) and I just scooped up my naked kid and carried her outside. She eventually said she'd get dressed and I took her in to do so. She did.
The other thing she does is start over from the very, very beginning if you do anything for her she wants to do herself. From taking off all her clothes if you dressed her and starting over again. To running back downstairs if you carried her up to the tub.
So, I thought I had it licked. Until daycare called. And she had the epic meltdown in the bathroom where they thought she would bonk her head on the toilet. All because she wouldn't let the teacher help her get dressed because it was outside time.
Today, Mom picked her up from daycare, was told about the incident and told that she had to learn the rules and let the teachers help her - because they have a schedule and a routine to follow.
I agree she should learn the rules. I disagree the teachers should be allowed to help. First, it causes serious meltdowns, and second - I love her independence.
At home, we have mostly solved this problem. I give Rhian every opportunity to do things herself. Give her lots of time and lots of notice to get ready for whatever transition is up and coming, and if she doesn't do it - I "threaten" to help her. She usually does it. If she doesn't I start to help her, and she will then do it. Now. But it took a while to get to that point.
Don't you think the daycare can work with her, without forcing her to receive help - especially for things she can do herself.
Am I being unreasonable? Deluded? Denial? Am I THAT Mom?
|And yes, she chose the clothes and put them all on herself before we left the house.|